My Father Killed My Mother and Married My Aunt: Forgiving the Unforgivable
This book is a labor of love.
A dedication to my father and the resilience born out of my parents’ conflict.
It is part memoir and part workbook.
Use this to heal to the depths of your being.
The full book may be purchased on Amazon here!
I grew up in Brooklyn among wise guys (my father, one of them) and
big-haired women with diamonds dripping from their ring fingers.
Cash was God, toughness was rewarded by neighborhood popularity and Cadillac El
Dorados were the car of choice. Dad taught me how to shoot a 38 caliber gun
when I was ten. His nickname for me was, Brenda Badenda, My Great
Defenda. I was definitely daddy‟s little girl.
Mom was an eclectic Bohemian artist who never quite fit into Brooklyn
with her short, unpolished fingernails and uncoifed hair. A naturally beautiful,
green-eyed bombshell, who oozed the sexiness of Anne Margaret, she wore
long slinky gowns that covered her hourglass figure like a glove, with cut-
outs exposing the sides of her body up to her hips.
She was one of the few women in our neighborhood who went to college and got a degree.
Later in life, she returned for a Master‟s degree in Fine Art Photography from a school
in „the city‟. She practically strapped me to her back each summer from the
time I was three, as we globe-trotted the world together, and she read
Shakespeare to help me fall asleep at night. She took photos. She made
friends with Aborigines.
Mom was my daring best friend.
My parents‟ love for each other was intense and tumultuous. So was
their hate. I tried to be everything good to them that they couldn‟t, wouldn‟t
be for each other.
I was so wrapped up in their unhappiness, trying to help
them feel better that I didn‟t realize that I had put my life, my dreams and
my goals on hold.
On October 1st, 1995 my father shot my mother in the head and killed
He married her older sister a few months later.
That single bullet shattered my entire world. His subsequent marriage to my aunt altered the
course of my life forever.
Who was I, if I wasn‟t my parents‟ daughter?
What‟s the right amount of time to grieve?
And how should it be done?
I believe it‟s personal and unique to each individual.
If you‟re ready to move forward in your life and claim your joy back, I
can help you by sharing the exact journey I took to turn my shocking loss,
bout of depression, feelings of betrayal and inner rage into my biggest gift by
learning and practicing the art of forgiveness.
Remember, forgiveness is for you! Not anyone else.
Let’s get started.
© 2009 Brenda Adelman. All Rights Reserved