I was attacked.
“Aren’t you just airing your dirty laundry? I know a lot of family members who would be very mad at me if I started sharing the family secrets like you do. I wouldn’t do that.”
This is how I was greeted in the first few moments of a blog talk radio show by the host who had invited me on to speak as an expert on forgiveness.
As she verbally judged my choices I thought to myself, Hadn’t she done her research?
You see, I’ve been talking quite openly about the fact that my father shot my mother in her head, killing her before quickly moving in with & then marrying my aunt, my mother’s older sister and abandoning me, his only child, albeit grown, behind.
I don’t think she knew what or who she was up against when she challenged me and my integrity. I don’t think she knew that I’d faced every judgment I could since I’d performed my one-woman show (which is about the drama of what happened and the healing that came from it ). Being visible and confident will trigger people who have secrets, are judgmental and haven’t healed themselves.
What would you do if you were judged, attacked and criticized for speaking your truth? Could you maintain your composure and not get defensive?
Follow my lead, why I responded as I did to my host and you too will be able to confidently stand your ground.
In my case, I could care less about her judgment because I knew at the deepest level of my being that my sharing was and does help someone every single time I open my mouth and tell my story; whether I am telling it one on one, in a personal conversation or with a coaching client, written in an article or book, shared on an interview, in one of my videos and/ or on stage in my one-woman show.
I’ve shared my story live with over 11,000 people in several countries and thousands more through the media,
On stages throughout the world I’ve personally heard the cries of people moaning in relief as their hearts opened and they realized they weren’t alone in their suffering once they heard my story. Knowing someone else had suffered a devastating loss and not only survived it but was now thriving and teaching their lessons meant they could too.
I’d faced some tough audiences, like women prisoners. I’ll never forget that experience. They awakened in my workshop on self-forgiveness to face the fact that the person they were so angry with was not the person they blamed for being in jail- but themselves, for hiding the abuse, making the wrong choices, leaving their child, doing the drugs…it was in this new way of thinking that they found a way in to forgive themselves and love themselves again and from that place take responsibility and let go of their anger.
I knew deeply that secrets kill, they keep shame and guilt intact and that I don’t give a crap about a family member being mad at me because I’ve told my truth.
I no longer am the secret keeper, the ‘nice’ girl who stays jailed in the role she has been playing in her family…just because that is the way it always had been. I no longer held the burden of being the punisher or the doormat. I no longer carried the shame of my family on my back.
My ability to tell my truth creatively while having let go of my anger in a healthy way freed me from my bondage to the ‘bully’ (my father) and the need to stand up for the victim (my mother) . How did I do it? By writing my story, presenting it on stage and through practicing the art of forgiveness.
And that is how I responded to my interviewer.
What will you declare true for you today when you are questioned, feel judged or challenged.
I dare you to stay true to yourself and stand tall instead of shrinking.
You see, when you share from a knowing- not a misguided belief anchored in an untruth- there is nothing that someone small minded and/or fear based or ignorant can say that will trump your truth and your experience.
So why must you tell your story?
Because if you don’t…
it will eat at you.
you won’t find your lesson
you’ll carry your secrets to the next generation
your joy will be on hold &
you won’t make the impact you can when you do.
I invite you to tell me why you haven’t fully stepped forward and told your story until now. Join me in The Naked Storyteller. Introduce yourself. Lay yourself bare for me to celebrate and for you to awaken to the wholeness of who you truly are.
Wow! You have such a powerful story to share, sad to think someone else would think of it as a “family secret”. Speaking our truth is the most important thing we can do and inspire others to speak theirs. I’m so grateful you are sharing yours with the world. I’m sure you can help so many people in the forgiveness process.