Here’s my answer to the second question:
Katherine: How can i forgive myself for my life and how it worked out? In a rut and tired.
Brenda:Katherine-thanks for your question and for reaching out for direction.
Self-Forgiveness is the most important and first step in forgiving anyone else.
You can only forgive someone else or events in your life or choices you’ve made if you truly step into Self-Love and Self-Acceptance.
Here’s some steps that I recommend taking. These exercises are also in my ebook, My Father Killed My Mother and Married My Aunt: Forgiving the Unforgivable:
1. Take an inventory of your life. Write down what’s working currently and whats not working.
2. Look within at your thoughts and belief systems and find the payoff for each thing that isn’t working.
For example: If you are not working in a job you love you may have a limiting belief that you don’t deserve to make the kind of money you’d like to and the payoff is that by working in a dead end job you get to be right about that. **This is usually unconscious and your job is to identify the unconscious belief system that has been running you so you can make different and more honoring choices from a conscious place.
Another example: You can’t find a loving man to be in relationship with. Look at your beliefs around relationships and trust.
3. Reframe your limiting beliefs.
This is like affirmations. I say if these thoughts are running through your head why not make them positive and good thoughts.
I come from an acting background. Sometimes I would dress in a character I was playing in rehearsal to help me get into character even though I hadn’t really believed I was the character on an inner level yet. Somehow walking in the characters shoes helped quicken the process.
4. It’s crucial that you take responsibility for where you are in your life and that you are very kind to yourself in the process. This is not the time (it never is) to beat yourself up. The thing is–you can only create a different future- a more empowering one- if you move out of blame at anyone else. Blame keeps us stuck.
5. Be kind to yourself. Write down 5 things each night that you love about yourself. It could be as simple as I’m grateful that I reached out for support today. I’m grateful for my courage.
Blessings to you,