It’s been an incredibly potent time for me, as far as learning new lessons, keeping my heart open despite surfacing fears and staying grounded in Truth.
My partner and I are adopting a beautiful growing boy and it seems to be triggering any unhealed issues I have hidden around responsibility and commitment.
I’ve noticed myself act more defensively then I have in years and yes, even shut my heart down…when I knew better.
Have you ever been having an argument and present enough to know that the words you’re saying are not the words you really mean? It’s like an animal of some kind (mine’s a tiger) takes over my body and has an intense need to fight.
Luckily both my partner and I are 100% committed to our wholeness and living in the Truth that there is something much bigger here than just us and our story and our behavior. We’ve also committed to never breaking up or making big decisions like that while we are emotionally triggered. (If you get one thing from this article -I hope it’s that!)
So how did I turn my fear and acting out around? (Remember, even if you are reacting to someone else -you are still responsible for your response!)
1. I asked myself consciously (allowing myself to breathe and have some space by walking in the other room) if what I was saying was what I meant.
2. I noticed how I felt physically. In my case I felt contracted and that’s a sign that my Knowing Self was not in charge -therefore I had to stop listening to my words with an air of self-importance.
3. I had to forgive the judgments of myself. This is the cornerstone of my teaching! I had to look at if I was feeling shame or guilt and that’s why I was unable to hear my partner. The thing is…even if your partner is triggered…as was the case with the situation I’m pointing to here…if I had no shame or guilt I would not have been triggered. It usually comes down to knowing without a shadow of a doubt that you (or I) am enough. No matter what.
By identifying and then releasing my judgments I was able to be in charge again. Anger no longer had a hold on me.
And I became the hero of my own life. My commitment to healing, wholeness and loving won out.
How can you not be the hero of your own life when you do the work it takes to make your life and the life of those around you better.
In the loving always,
Brenda
Want to find out my 3 Step Forgiveness Process? Learn more here
